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Equality? It’s all about the Mindset

Vanita Bhoola

Author: Vanita Bhoola

Date: Thu, 2018-03-08 15:19

“Equality” does it exist? Well, this question has been lingering on my mind for some time now. In the initial days post my marriage, when we had those little squabbles and tiffs (with my better half) I thought we were equals; as the years passed by, I had my relatives, family friends as well as a family physician repeatedly telling me “We are women, it is we who need to make the adjustments and compromises;this is what will keep both of you happy”. This repeated ‘advise’ initially led me to believe what they were saying as true; I began to behave unlike my natural self, wherein adjustments kept happening and I continued believing that it is ‘us’ who have to adjust and compromise.

Growing in age as well as in wisdom, I began to realise that men and women cannot be equal, as each has its specific role. Whether it’s the glass ceiling or the queen’s bee, it all exists under one umbrella. In a recent meeting, when I had to present my work and achievements of the year gone by, several women colleagues had a change in their body language; it isn’t a rare case- it’s quite common: this states a lot, wherein a woman needs to respect another women, which could translate to their achieving much more in their own workplace.

If we come out of the space of the ‘SaasBahu Series’ and start believing and adapting a Balanced Leadership approach, without fearing the failures and avoiding the queen bee syndrome, it would not only be us, but the organization, the collective consciousness at large would grow holistically. I remember another incident: while I was delivering a speech, I noticed a participant (woman)who was keen on asking questions, clarifying her doubts, but wasn’t feeling at ease as she was surrounded with men. I felt her unease and being the only lady participant in that forum I thought of giving ‘special’ attention to her. When I asked her if she had any questions/clarifications, hesitatingly she said: “I do have, but unlike all experts in this class I may sound silly”.

Little instances such as these, do go on to create a ‘boundary’ wherein you are limiting, inhibiting your own self and space. Let us all remember the hands that serve are more sacred than the lips that pray. Women have to learn how to stay dignified in all walks of life; her respect, her being an ‘equal’ doesn’t solely depend on her ability to multi-task be it at the board room or the labour room; ‘he’ is inherent in ‘she’- a woman compliments the man and vice versa. It’s the journey together that makes life much more diverse and thereby interesting.

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Comments

It's a pity that we have to have a day like this to realise something that is an everyday fact. As you have rightly observed the equality between the two is not linear. It is more transcendental . And spiritual. Each has to perform certain functions which have to be decided one case by case basis and not to be decided by dogma or any 'isms. Well blogged.

I agree with your views sir. Thank you

I agree with the concept of equality and women empowerment and ......so on...... What I don't agree is the concept of women taking rules for granted...as if it is their birthright. Eg. A women's seat in a bus is reserved.... But... Can a woman not get up if all senior citizen seats are full, for another pregnant woman? Why do women not follow signals religiously? Why do girls think driving a scooty on the wrong side of the road is Cool? With equality will come responsibility and we should gracefully be responsible and not take advantage of being a girl....coz we a much more superior!!

Well said Rachana... I can see the pain you feel when you come across people not showing empathy and concern

I believe a woman is a naturally strong creation and hence we should take pride because it's we who have the strength to bear more and the strength to sacrifice in many aspects. Nice article Vanita...

True! We at times forget our strength....

A very wonderful thought on 'Equality'. Its very true that: Without 'HER' even 'HERO' is '0' But also 'He' is inherent in 'SHE' Both goes together and compliments each other in a very beautiful way.....

I find the term "better half" an oxymoron..... As for equality, as I see it, earlier it was brute strength that determined superiority ( man to man or man to woman ). The battle for territory and the hunt for food then was the dominant factor for survival. Here women barely had any role. Now the world we live in is more complex and physical might cannot determine the outcome of many challenges / opportunities/ problems et al. So, in terms of parity, man = woman. QED. Suresh Rao

I believe, both a man and a woman are unique by his or her unique characteristics and virtue they possess. With their inherent characteristics and virtue, they are essential for the smooth operation of a well-balanced life and the society at large. Because of the individual biases, this absolute purpose has been altered since long and it may continue further. But the point I want to highlight here is the absolute purpose of coexistence can’t be changed even though some of us agree it or not. Another aspect of coexistence can be substantiated through the formation of a "RAINBOW". Lying alone the seven constituent colors of a RAINBOW are just a distinct color, but it does not have the beauty & uniqueness of a RAINBOW. It is the blending of these colors in a requisite proportion makes them a unique beauty called “RAINBOW”. Same goes for a man and woman. Hence, they are naturally being complement to each other, as their creation per se, for the smooth operation of the thing called life or the society and making them a unique experience. When we talk about equality, we often compare both men and women for their ability and rights to do a certain action or the respect of their individual characteristics. As many of the characteristics they possess are different, these comparisons often led to flawed conclusions. It is rightly pointed out it one of the thread above that if one’s act will only be biased by the word called “Equality” and ignore one’s requisite duty, it can lead to unsocial consequences. Hence, it is in the well-being of both men and women that they understand these inherent different characteristics of each other and rather they appreciate these differences and blend together to have a harmonious and adorable journey together.

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